Supporting positive behaviour through encouragement and understanding

Every child experiences big emotions as they grow. Learning to share, wait, communicate feelings and manage frustration takes time, patience and support.

At Magnolia Tree Day Nursery, we don't believe children are "naughty". Instead, we see behaviour as a form of communication and work closely with children and families to understand what they are trying to tell us. Young children are still learning how to express their feelings. Sometimes behaviour that adults find challenging is simply a child communicating that they are tired, overwhelmed, frustrated, anxious or unable to express themselves in words.

By understanding the reason behind the behaviour, adults can respond calmly and help children develop healthier ways of communicating. We help our staff understand this through 

• Accessing relevant sources of expertise on handling children's behaviour. 

• Ensuring that all staff have relevant in-and-out-of-house training on handling children's behaviour

• Seeking further advice from outside agencies if necessary 

How we support children’s positive behaviour

Here are some ways we support positive behaviour here at Magnolia Tree Day Nursery:

Create a sense of belonging 

We support each child in creating a sense of belonging in our group so that they feel valued and welcome by discussing everyone‘s feelings and differences in a child-friendly and age-appropriate manner. 

We avoid creating situations in which children receive adult attention only in return for inconsiderate behaviour by focusing on the positive situation and comforting the victim where there has been one. When children behave inconsiderately, we help them understand the outcomes of their actions and support them in learning how to cope more appropriately. 

Focus on good behaviour

We acknowledge and focus our praise and attention on considerate behaviour rather than focus on what could be 'bad behaviour'.

We never send children out of the room by themselves, nor do we use a ‘naughty chair’. We never use physical punishment, such as smacking or shaking. Children are never threatened with these. We do not use techniques intended to humiliate individual children. We may use physical intervention, such as holding, only to prevent physical injury to children (either themselves or others) or adults and/or serious damage to property. 

Praise and reward effort

We do not routinely use extrinsic rewards which reward the outcome, such as stickers, as these methods of reward purely focus on the outcome and can be short-lasting in effectiveness. Instead, we focus on praising the process with an intrinsic reward which provides a long-lasting and fulfilling sense of achievement, well-being and cautious satisfaction.  

For example, rather than saying "Good girl" or rewarding children with stickers every time, we try to praise what children have actually done. 

• "You kept trying."

• "You worked really hard."

• "You were very kind to your friend."

This helps children develop motivation from within, rather than relying on rewards from others. Praising effort rather than simply the end result also teaches children that perseverance, resilience and determination are just as important as success. Over time, this helps children become more confident learners who are willing to try new things without worrying about getting everything perfect.

Provide plenty of resources and promote turn taking

We ensure that there are enough popular toys and resources and sufficient activities available so that children are meaningfully occupied without the need for unnecessary conflict over sharing and waiting for turns. 

Children also enjoy using our sand timers to manage turn-taking independently. Instead of adults deciding whose turn it is, children can see exactly when their turn begins, helping reduce frustration and encouraging fairness.

Remember…

Every child is unique, and there is no "one size fits all" approach to behaviour.

By working together with families, building trusting relationships and responding with patience, consistency and kindness, we can help children develop the confidence, emotional awareness and self-regulation skills that will benefit them throughout their lives.